Listen to our feature on Modern Manners

Appearances can be deceptive
‘Young people today think of nothing but themselves. They have no reverence for parents or old age.’

This may have been French crusader Peter the Hermit’s opinion back in the 13^th Century, but is it true of young people in today’s Britain? For an answer we asked a variety of young men and women for their opinions on etiquette and behaviour.

‘Like he would be an authority on young people…being a hermit?’ says 17-year-old Stuart, allowing humour and common sense to mask frustration at often being judged purely on appearances: ‘A lot of the older generation think that we are discourteous without ever giving us a chance to prove whether we are polite or not. That could be due mainly to some teenagers who are disruptive and impolite to everyone, but that’s not the norm.’

Standards of behaviour
Stuart comments on how young people behave differently with their friends than in more formal situations, but even when relaxing with his friends, there are things he would consider to be poor manners.

Modern communications technology - particularly the ubiquitous mobile phone - has brought its own etiquette. Anthea, 19, student, feels: ‘As long as you don't talk really loudly and the conversation doesn't intrude, I’d say talk all you want.’

Confident enough to be nice
In early and mid-teens, peer pressure to conform can be strong. Eventually, this ‘cool rebel’ phase – which usually involves being totally self-centred - wears off and we feel comfortable making our own decisions.

Steve, 22, engineer, says: ‘I think most young people are well mannered one-to-one. It’s a balance between being sufficiently self-assured to express your personality and being able to respect others. My first ideas about manners came from my family. I think that’s usually the case and very important.’

’I know,’ he says with a grin, ‘sooner or later we end up sounding like our parents!’

Jim
July/August 2006