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This page has the online practice materials for:
LearnEnglish Elementary Podcast Magazine No. 09
Section 7 - Joke
You can listen online or download the podcast at Podcast 09 Home
You can also get print versions of the practice materials below in our Podcast 09 Support Pack (pdf file - 351 KB)
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Section 7 is a joke. A joke is normally a funny story you hear and tell someone else. But you can also describe funny things that happen to you. The most important thing is to watch your friends to see if they are enjoying the story or not – then you can make it longer or shorter.
Suggestion: Listen to the joke on your computer/mp3 player. Then match the first half and the second half of each line of the joke. Then look at the notes and tell the story without looking at the script... Then, think of a funny story that you know. Write down the most important words in English (use a dictionary?). Then try telling the joke.
Practice materials - Exercise 1
Match the first half to the second half of each line of the joke
Practice materials - Exercise 2
Here's an easy version of the joke – the original version is below.
What are the biggest differences that you notice?
Practise telling yourself the simple version of the joke a few times. When you can do that, then try to tell the joke using some of the phrases you noticed in the complex version.
Simplified version
• A magician worked on a big ship that people have holidays on.
• He had a parrot who helped him.
• The magician did lots of tricks to amaze the tourists.
• His best trick was to make things 'disappear' or become invisible.
• But the parrot had seen all the magician’s tricks many times.
• He was bored – he knew how the how the magician's secrets – how he made things apparently disappear.
• One night, during the magician’s show, the ship hit an iceberg.
• It began to sink.
• The magician got into a lifeboat and escaped. He fell asleep for a very long time.
• The parrot sat on the side of the boat, watching the magician all the time.
• After three days the magician woke up.
• The first thing he saw was the parrot.
• The parrot sat there for another hour, watching.
• Finally the parrot opened its mouth and said
• "Okay. I don't understand how you did that trick. How did you make the ship disappear?"
Tom’s tip
When we tell jokes we sometimes use the past tense and we sometimes use the present tense. Gordon told this joke in the past tense. You can use either the past or the present when you tell it.
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Original version
Gordon: Yes – a parrot and a magician. A magician who worked on a cruise ship – you know, the big ships that people have holidays on – had a parrot.
But the parrot had seen the magician’s act hundreds of times and knew all the tricks. So whenever the magician did his act the parrot just sat there looking really bored because he’d worked out how the magician made things disappear.
Anyway, one night, during the magician’s show, the ship hit an iceberg and sank. The only survivors were the magician and the parrot. The magician managed to climb into a lifeboat and immediately fell into a deep, deep sleep. A little bit after that the parrot came and sat on the edge of the lifeboat and stared at the magician.
The magician slept for three days and the parrot didn’t take his eyes off him. It just stared and stared and stared. Finally, the magician opened his eyes and the first thing he saw was the parrot – watching him like a … well, like a parrot.
Another hour went past and the parrot didn’t take his eyes off the magician. Then the parrot opened its beak and squawked “Alright. I give up. What did you do with the ship?”
Next:
Continue to: Practice materials: Section 8: Tom the teacher
Return to: Elementary Podcast 09 Home Page
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