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This page has the online practice materials for:
LearnEnglish Elementary Podcast Magazine No. 07
Section 7 - Joke
You can listen online or download the podcast at Podcast 07 Home
You can also get print versions of the practice materials below in our Podcast 07 Support Pack (pdf file - 372 KB)
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This section begins when the counter on your audio player is on (approximately) 20mins.30secs
Section 7 is a joke. A joke is normally a funny story you hear and tell someone else. But you can also describe funny things that happen to you. The most important thing is to watch your friends to see if they are enjoying the story or not – then you can make it longer or shorter.
Suggestion: Listen to the joke on your computer/mp3 player. Then put the lines in the right order. Then look at the notes and tell the story without looking at the script... Then, think of a funny story that you know. Write down the most important words in English (use a dictionary?). Then try telling the joke.
Practice materials - Exercise 1
Read sentences and put them in the right order to tell the joke
Practice materials - Exercise 2
Now try to tell the joke yourself. You can use these words to help you. When you see a slash (/) it means that one or more words are missing:
Tom’s tip
When we tell jokes we sometimes use the past tense and we sometimes use the present tense. Gordon told this joke in the present tense. You can use either the past or the present when you tell it.
A dog / an advert / newspaper, to / a girlfriend.
The assistant at the newspaper /
"That’s fine, just / name and address on this form and then / in the box underneath."
“OK”, / the dog.
He / the form and then he / for a bit and then he / box
"Woof, woof, woof. Woof, woof. Woof, woof, woof, woof."
He / the paper / the assistant and she / at it and / to the dog,
“You know / nine woofs here.”
“You can have / for no extra charge – it’s ten words / five pounds.”
“Why / add another ‘woof’?”
The dog / really confused. “Another woof?”
“That wouldn’t / at all.”
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Transcript
Ravi: Anyway, that’s almost the end of another podcast but, as usual, before we go, we’re going to hear from Gordon with another one of his amazing jokes. Gordon?
Gordon: Yep.
Ravi: What have you got for us?
Gordon: Another dog, Ravi.
Ravi: Come on then, let’s hear it.
Gordon: Right. A dog goes to put an advert in a newspaper. In the lonely hearts column, you know.
Ravi: To find a girlfriend?
Gordon: Right. Anyway, the assistant at the newspaper says "That’s fine, just fill in your name and address on this form and then write your advert in the box underneath." “OK”, says the dog.
He fills in the form and then he stops to think for a bit and then he writes in the box – "woof, woof, woof. Woof, woof. Woof, woof, woof, woof." He gives the paper to the assistant and she has a look at it and says to the dog, “You know you’ve got nine woofs here – you can have an extra one for no extra charge – it’s ten words for £5. Why don’t you add another ‘woof’?”
The dog looks really confused. “Another ‘woof’? That wouldn’t make any sense at all”.
Ravi: I quite like that one. Your dog jokes are the best ones Gordon. You should concentrate on them. What do you think Tess?
Tess: Quite funny – but don’t look for work as a comedian just yet Gordon.
Next:
Continue to: Practice materials: Section 8: Tom the teacher
Return to: Elementary Podcast 07 Home Page
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