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This page has the online practice materials for:
LearnEnglish Elementary Podcast Magazine No. 06
Section 7 - Joke
You can listen online or download the podcast at Podcast 06 Home
You can also get print versions of the practice materials below in our Podcast 06 Support Pack (pdf file - 389 KB)
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This section begins when the counter on your audio player is on (approximately) 22mins.28secs
Section 7 is a joke. A joke is normally a funny story you hear and tell someone else. But you can also describe funny things that happen to you. The most important thing is to watch your friends to see if they are enjoying the story or not – then you can make it longer or shorter.
Suggestion: Listen to the joke on your computer/mp3 player. Then put the lines in the right order. Then look at the notes and tell the story without looking at the script... Then, think of a funny story that you know. Write down the most important words in English (use a dictionary?). Then try telling the joke.
Practice materials - Exercise 1
Read sentences and put them in the right order to tell the joke
Practice materials - Exercise 2
Now try to tell the joke yourself. You can use these words to help you. When you see a slash (/) it means that one or more words are missing:
Tom’s tip
When we tell jokes we sometimes use the past tense and we sometimes use the present tense. Gordon told this joke in the present tense. You can use either the past or the present when you tell it.
A rabbit / a butcher’s shop and says “ / any carrots?”
And the butcher / “No. / a butcher’s shop. We / carrots” and the rabbit / “OK” and / out of the shop.
An hour / the rabbit / back. “ / any carrots?” And the butcher / “No, I / you, this is / shop – we / any carrots.
An hour later – it / again, and an hour after that, / again. Well, the butcher / really annoyed.
Next time / comes in – “ / any carrots?” the butcher / “Look, I’ve / you – we don’t / carrots here. If you / to this shop one more time I’m / take a hammer, / nails and I’m / nail your ears to the floor! OK?”
So, the rabbit / away. But, guess what, an hour /, the rabbit comes back and / the shop.
“ any nails?” “No” says the butcher.
“ / carrots”
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Transcript
Ravi: Well, that’s almost everything for today but a podcast wouldn’t be a podcast without a joke from Gordon. Are you ready Gordon?
Gordon: I am, Ravi. Another special one for you today.
Ravi: I’m sure it is Gordon. All of your jokes are ‘special’. In their own way. Let’s hear it.
Gordon: Anyway, a rabbit walks into a butcher’s shop and says “Have you got any carrots?”. And the butcher says “No. This is a butcher’s shop – we don’t sell carrots,” and the rabbit says “OK” and goes out of the shop.
An hour later, the rabbit comes back. “Have you got any carrots?” And the butcher says “No, I told you, this is a butcher’s shop – we haven’t got any carrots”.
An hour later – it happens again, and an hour after that, it happens again. Well, the butcher’s getting really annoyed. Next time the rabbit comes in – “Have you got any carrots?” the butcher says “Look, I’ve told you – we don’t have any carrots here. If you come back to this shop one more time I’m going to take a hammer, take some nails and I’m going to nail your ears to the floor! OK?”
So, the rabbit goes away. But, guess what, an hour later, the rabbit comes back and walks into the shop. “Have you got any nails?” “No” says the butcher.
“Have you got any carrots?”
Ravi: Actually Gordon, I think that’s the best one so far. You’re getting better. Right. We have to go now but don’t go away. After this little break you’re going to hear Tom, our English teacher. After every show, Tom talks about the language you heard and gives you ideas to help you learn. So, don’t go away, but I’ll say goodbye now. See you next time.
Next:
Continue to: Practice materials: Section 8: Tom the teacher
Return to: Elementary Podcast 06 Home Page
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