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This page has the online practice materials for:
LearnEnglish Elementary Podcast Magazine No. 05
Section 7 - Joke
You can listen online or download the podcast at Podcast 05 Home
You can also get print versions of the practice materials below in our Podcast 05 Support Pack (pdf file - 384 KB)
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This section begins when the counter on your audio player is on (approximately) 18mins.32secs
Section 7 is a joke. A joke is normally a funny story you hear and tell someone else. But you can also describe funny things that happen to you. The most important thing is to watch your friends to see if they are enjoying the story or not – then you can make it longer or shorter.
Suggestion: Listen to the joke on your computer/mp3 player. Then put the lines in the right order. Then look at the notes and tell the story without looking at the script... Then, think of a funny story that you know. Write down the most important words in English (use a dictionary?). Then try telling the joke.
Practice materials - Exercise 1
Read sentences and put them in the right order to tell the joke
Practice materials - Exercise 2
Now try to tell the joke yourself. You can use these words to help you. When you see a slash (/) it means that one or more words are missing:
Tom’s tip
When we tell jokes we sometimes use the past tense and we sometimes use the present tense. Gordon told this joke in the present tense. You can use either the past or the present when you tell it.
A man / driving / country road / a chicken / in front of his car.
Nothing strange about that – but then, he / the chicken / three legs.
“/ strange” he thinks, “a three-legged chicken”.
He / bit faster – 40 kilometres an hour - but the chicken / too.
He / faster – 70 kilometres an hour – but the / chicken / too.
The man / faster and faster / the chicken / running.
When / both / over one hundred kilometres an hour, the chicken / into a farm.
Quickly, the man / his car.
The farmyard / three legged chickens. There / three legged chickens everywhere.
So, he / the farmer in the farmyard and he /, “Where / three legged chickens / from? / amazing”.
“I breed / ” says /
“There / three /, me, my wife and our son.
We / chicken legs, so … I / a three legged chicken, so / all / a leg at dinner time”.
“Amazing” / man, “ / the meat? / good?”
“Well”, / the farmer, “ / know. We haven’t caught / yet .”
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Transcript
Ravi: Now it’s time for …da-dah! Gordon and his amazing jokes. So what have you got for us today Gordon? Parrots? Talking dogs?
Gordon: Chickens. They can’t talk though.
Ravi: OK. Come on then. Let’s hear it.
Gordon: OK. A man is driving slowly down a country road when he sees a chicken run in front of his car. Nothing strange about that – but then, he notices that the chicken has three legs. "How strange" he thinks, "a three-legged chicken". He starts to drive a bit faster – 40 kilometres an hour - but the chicken goes faster too. He drives a bit faster – 70 kilometres an hour – but the three-legged chicken just runs faster too. The man goes faster and faster but the chicken keeps running. When they are both doing over one hundred kilometres an hour, the chicken turns a corner into a farm.
Quickly, the man stops his car. The farmyard is full of three-legged chickens. There are three-legged chickens everywhere. So, he sees the farmer in the farmyard and he asks him, “Where do all of these three-legged chickens come from? This is amazing”. “I breed them” says the farmer. “There are three of us, me, my wife and our son. We all like chicken legs, so … I made a three-legged chicken, so we can all have a leg at dinner time”. “Amazing” says the man, “How’s the meat? Does it taste good?”
“Well”, says the farmer, “I don’t know. We haven’t caught one of them yet.”
Tess: I don’t get it.
Ravi: Oh, Tess. They can’t catch the chickens because they’re so fast.
Tess: So do they taste good or not?
Ravi: Never mind Tess, never mind.
Next:
Continue to: Practice materials: Section 8: Tom the teacher
Return to: Elementary Podcast 05 Home Page
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