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This page has the online practice materials for:
LearnEnglish Elementary Podcast Magazine No. 03
Section 7 - Joke
You can listen online or download the podcast at Podcast 03 Home
You can also get print versions of the practice materials below in our Download Podcast 03 Support Pack (pdf file - 454 KB)
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This section begins when the counter on your audio player is on (approximately) 19.15
Section 7 is a joke. A joke is normally a funny story you hear and tell someone else. But you can also describe funny things that happen to you. The most important thing is to watch your friends to see if they are enjoying the story or not – then you can make it longer or shorter.
Suggestion: Listen to the joke on your computer/mp3 player. Then put the lines in the right order. Then look at the notes and tell the story without looking at the script... Then, think of a funny story that you know. Write down the most important words in English (use a dictionary?). Then try telling the joke.
Practice materials - Exercise 1
Read sentences and put them in the right order to tell the joke.
Practice materials - Exercise 2
Now try to tell the joke yourself. You can use these words to help you. When you see a slash (/) it means that one or more words are missing:
A man / pet shop. “I / parrot / talks”
The shop assistant / “sorry / teach / parrot / speak”
So / bought / parrot / home with him.
A week later / pet shop. “My parrot / speak”.
“Really? / perhaps bored. You / little swimming pool. swim / then / talk”.
So / swimming pool and / home.
The next week / again. / “not talking”.
“Oh dear. / this mirror. / swim / pool / look at himself / talk”
Man / mirror / away.
A week later / final time. “ / dead”.
“Oh dear! / sorry / tell me / before / say anything?”
“Yes / one thing”
“Really? What / ?”
“ / food!”
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Transcript
Gordon: A man went into a pet shop one day. “I’d like a parrot that talks”, he said. The shop assistant said “I’m sorry sir, but you have to teach your parrot to speak.” So the man bought a parrot and took it home with him. A week later he went back to the pet shop. “My parrot still doesn’t speak”, he said. “Oh, really? Well, perhaps he’s bored. You should buy this little swimming pool. He can have a swim and then he might talk”, explained the shop assistant. So, he bought the swimming pool and went home. The next week the man came back again. “He’s still not talking” he said. “Oh dear. Buy this mirror. He’ll swim in the pool, get out and look at himself, then talk.” So the man bought the mirror and went away. A week later he came back a final time. “My parrot is dead”, he said. “Oh, dear! I’m very sorry about that, sir – but tell me, before he died, did he say anything?” “Yes he did. But only one thing.” “Really? What was that?” “Give me food!”
Tess: Gordon! That’s horrible! He didn’t give it any food! Oh, poor parrot!
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Continue to: Practice materials: Section 8: Tom the teacher
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