It’s often said that most men would rather sell their own mother than talk about their feelings. Especially about relationships. And, above all, especially to other men.

That’s a generalization, of course, and one curious thing about the rapport between the sexes in our supposedly politically correct world is that, generally, all women make massive generalizations about men (*).

Here are a few. Men are thoughtless and childish. Men are competitive pack animals and driven by status. A man will run away from relationship commitment given half a chance and an invitation to the pub. Men are shallow and obsessed with looks above personality. And men care more about the fitness of the injury-prone Italian striker of their fantasy football team than the health and future of their relationship with their partner.

They’re just a few of the kinder comments girls make about the male species. And if a bloke doesn’t get too upset when he hears any of the above, it’s no surprise  – you wouldn’t expect a man to show too much emotion or insecurity, after all. Particularly, as we know, if there are other blokes present.

If all of this is true, then how do you explain “Lad Lit”?

Lad Lit is the phenomenon of best-selling books written by men, and bought by lots of men, which tell tales of masculine insecurity in relationships, problems with male identity in the 21st century, and stories which explore the state of play between men and women from an often emotionally confused confessional male perspective.

Like Chick Lit, Lad Lit came from a need to explore the changing demands made on gender roles in modern society as men juggle new stresses and priorities with expectations of how they should behave in work, in love, and in life.  

And, as with the female writers, the male writers produce candid, entertaining and frequently hilarious stories. It doesn’t have to be serious. Here are a few….

Nick Hornby: Starting a List

The daddy of the genre is Nick Hornby. In the Nineties, Hornby wrote Fever Pitch, a memoir of his obsession with football that became a benchmark for sport writing and, significantly, with it’s passionate and warmhearted analysis of what it means to be a football supporter, legitimized football as a serious literary topic. And this – treating football as the crucial social force and art form we’ve known it all along to be - must have confirmed a few stereotypes about What Men In General Are Like.

But it was with his first novel, High Fidelity, that Hornby became the king of Lad Lit.

High Fidelity is the story of thirtysomething record shop owner Rob Fleming. As the book opens we learn that Rob’s girlfriend, Laura, has left him. A music-loving maker of competitive ‘top five’ lists (see his “Top Five Bands or Musicians Who Will Have To Be Shot Come the Musical Revolution”), Rob makes a list of his most ‘memorable split-ups’ and, in an effort to find out why his relationships go wrong, eventually tracks down his ex-girlfriends.

Rob Fleming’s story, however, is not just about “relationship trauma”, and as the confessional first-person narrative progresses we notice that Rob’s inability to commit his fidelity to Laura extends to his career, friendships, and life too, as he realises he has sleep-walked into adulthood.

In High Fidelity, Hornby examines what it takes for the modern male to ‘Get Happy”, and at times the men who read this book must wince in recognition at the humour, warm heartedness and accuracy with which Hornby explains why men behave in the often petty, self-destructive and mindless way they do.

High Fidelity is also one of the rare books that Hollywood has not completely ruined when making it into a film.

Matt Dunn: “It’s not me, it’s you”

Edward Middleton, the nice-guy hero of Matt Dunn’s The Ex-Boyfriend’s Handbook, is another one who has been dumped by his girlfriend.

But, against stereotype, he not only wants to know why – he is determined to transform himself and win back his girl. He does it all - from hiring a personal trainer to getting botox and asking the personality makeover advice of just about every woman he meets.

With this book, Dunn looks at the presumption that it’s mostly men who value their partners on looks, and also asks the question – would women really like men if they cleaned up their act and did what women say they like and want?

As Ed finds in this highly readable and witty book, the answer just isn’t that simple.

The General Specific

And so back to those generalizations that women, in general, like to make about their men folk.

Yes, the above is also obviously a generalization (*). Men make them, too. It’s part of the fun.

But it’s also offered in the name of sexual equality. Because, even though Lad Lit has no political agenda - there really hasn’t been a male equivalent of feminism or post feminism that has been acceptable to your average, fun-loving bloke (so much for pack animals..) - this genre, with it’s themes and the wit and confessional care of the writing, certainly explodes some generalizations about the male of the species.

Funnily enough, Lad Lit also confirms a lot of generalizations about men and gives enough ammunition for some new generalizations, too. Both Chick Lit and Lad lit provide plenty of material for us to continue the healthy banter between the sexes. We wouldn’t have it any other way.