|
Influencing is getting the support and commitment of others in achieving what you want. The way you do this is by the impressions you make, your manner and the way you speak, and partly the relationships you have to others.
If you are in a managerial position, your title is likely to give you some influence. However, the really successful influencers use other behaviours to build strong relationships and communicate ideas effectively.
In order to influence effectively, you need to be aware of PUSH and PULL behaviours.
PUSH is those skills and language you use to express your goals. The aim is to change the other person’s views through positive means. Too much pushing, however, will lead to you coming across as aggressive.
PULL can be used when you want to understand and explore another person’s viewpoint. If you use these types of behaviours too much, then you may come across as non-assertive.
It should be noted here that influencing and assertiveness have cultural implications and you need to be careful when using push behaviours on those external contacts that are of high importance or rank.
There are three key areas of PUSH behaviour:
1. Expressing your views clearly
You need to clearly explain the reasons for your views and you should focus on either the task, or the procedure or a relationship.
Some examples of this:
In my view the system is inadequate as it does not automate the customer database. (task)
I suggest that we have a chairperson for this meeting because they will focus our discussion around the agenda. (procedure)
I think that the way in which you developed Rani has really helped the team working in this department. (relationships)
2. Saying how you feel
Expressing your feelings clearly without having an “emotional meltdown” allows you to emphasise how you feel about a situation. Again, you need to explain why you feel this way.
Some examples:
Right now, I am angry because I am not being listened to.
I am confused about the way that you behaved at this meeting because you did not state your opinion.
3. Clarifying your expectations
This makes clear what you want and expect from another individual, and also the consequences if they fail to meet your expectations.
Some examples:
This is what I want from you because ? what do you think?
I need you to give me the forecast for December’s sales. If this is not done, then we will not be able to forecast the figures for the next financial year.
I expect you to give me feedback on my performance so that I can build on my strengths and improve my weaknesses.
The danger with PUSH is that colleagues and contacts will view you as aggressive, but said with the correct tone and body language, it will ensure that your needs have been heard.
Guy Perring is Director, Professional Development Unit (PDU), at the British Council Malaysia. The PDU offers a wide range of learning opportunities from management and communication skills training to developing English skills. Visit it at www.britishcouncil.org.my or e-mail guy.perring@britishcouncil.org.my.
|
