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In the last few articles we have looked at the 3V’s connected with communication (Vocal, Verbal and Visual), different styles of listening, communication styles and those of your customers, managers and colleagues. This time we will give you some practical tips, techniques and strategies to add to your knowledge base on communicating with confidence.
You should build your own “communication toolkit” that you always have with you at your workplace. With practice, you can pick the right communication ‘tool’ for the right situation, to achieve the outcome you want to achieve in the most effective way. One of the most effective ways to ensure effective communication is paraphrasing and echoing. Have a look at the conversation below which hopefully explains and demonstrates these techniques in a humorous way.
| A: |
This task is about paraphrasing and also echoing. |
| B: |
About paraphrasing? |
| A: |
Yes, paraphrasing – it’s a bit like rephrasing |
| B: |
You mean like “putting it in other words”? |
| A: |
That’s right. Using different words to summarise and clarify the meaning for the listener. |
| B: |
You also mentioned echoing. |
| A: |
Yes, echoing. Echoing is when you as the listener repeat key words to show you are listening, thinking and to confirm you have understood the right message. |
| B: |
Help me understand the right message. I see. |
| A: |
Echo questions are also useful to help build a conversation. |
| B: |
Are they? |
| A: |
Yes, I like them because they allow the person listening to input some energy and interest into the conversation. |
| B: |
Do they? |
| A: |
Great, isn’t it? |
Empathy
In order to show empathy it is important to exhibit real understanding of the speaker’s message. It is not enough to say that you understand the other person by saying things like “I know how you must feel.” (This can annoy the listener.) Rather, show your understanding by identifying the emotions behind the words through your facial expressions and body language, and saying things like:
“That must have made you very happy.”
“Really! Did you laugh when he said that?”
“How horrible. What a scary situation to be in.”
“You seem excited about something.”
“That sounds frustrating.”
If you want to give advice wait until the speaker has finished. It is also advisable to hold back on sharing your own experiences.
Use the techniques in this article to help you communicate more effectively in your workplace.
- Paraphrase and echo to check understanding
- Use empathy to help understand the other point of view
Remember that practice makes perfect and don’t assume that the message you think you sent is the one received. Use strategies, build in checks, and facilitate feedback to ensure the right message has been received. Remember again that communication is an exchange. It takes two to communicate.
Guy Perring is Director, Professional Development Unit (PDU), at the British Council Malaysia. The PDU offers a wide range of learning opportunities from management and communication skills training to developing English skills. Visit our website at www.britishcouncil.org.my or email me at guy.perring@britishcouncil.org.my
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