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The term “negotiation” often seems to frighten people, since it is mistakenly regarded as a high-level skill only practised by CEOs and Heads of State. In fact, most of us practise negotiating on a day-to-day basis at work regularly. It could be to sell a service or product, look for an increase in salary or get a better deal from a supplier.
One key area to consider in negotiation is the use of tentative language, particularly if the participants do not know each other well or the meeting is formal.
For example, a direct statement such as “That is unacceptable” or “That does not meet our requirements” could lead to a breakdown in communication with such a confrontational approach.
Instead, it is more appropriate to tone down your language with the use of would or wouldn’t. So That would be unacceptable and That wouldn’t meet our requirements can help maintain a more positive atmosphere in a negotiation, even though the key point has been put across.
Careful use of perhaps, maybe and I’m afraid are also useful tools in making your ideas less abrupt. As in the examples below:
Perhaps we could reduce the costs involved by ...
Maybe you could deliver the course over a longer period.
I’m afraid our standard policy is to charge an overdue fee.
Another way of ensuring your opposites are not taken back by your direct approach is the use of a bit. For example, you may feel an item is very expensive, but to say so directly would not be appropriate. It is better to say the following:
I’m afraid that is a bit more than we are prepared to pay.
You should also try and avoid direct negatives such as “we can’t/ won’t pay 15% commission”. Instead, rephrase:
We are not in a position to pay 15% commission.
We are unable to pay 15% commission.
If you wish to indicate that there is the possibility of a change in your position in the future, you may wish to insert a phrase such as at this stage or at this point in time. This makes you seem less rigid.
The use of the passive tense can reduce the tension of a negotiation and ensure that you are focusing on the problem, not the individual. Compare the two sentences below:
You promised to reduce the cost by 20%.
It was agreed that the cost would be reduced by 20%.
The second sentence makes the same point that an agreement had been made, but the language is more diplomatic and is less likely to lead to a defensive response.
The use of negative questions in tentative language can be very useful in negotiations.
Wouldn’t that be too late?
Wouldn’t that be dangerous?
In both cases, the speaker is thinking “it is too late” and “it is dangerous”, but the use of a negative question is far more diplomatic and more likely to be taken seriously.
It should be finally noted that cultural differences can play a large part in negotiation strategy and the extent to which tentative language is favoured.
Although one should be careful of generalisations, the Japanese and British are generally regarded as having the least confrontational approach and consequently use tentative language – some would argue, overuse! Americans tend to be more blunt and direct, feeling less of a need to soften their approach with tentative language.
Guy Perring is Director, Professional Development Unit (PDU), at the British Council Malaysia. The PDU offers a wide range of learning opportunities from management and communication skills training to developing English skills. Contact the British Council in Kuala Lumpur at 03-27237900 or Penang at 04-2630330 or visit www.britishcouncil.org.my.
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